My favourite way to walk away from a potentially lethal crash

For some odd reason, the intellect of the average Montreal driver cannot process the fact that a straight arrow means "don't turn yet, you have to wait 30 seconds." In my head, this is what will happen if I ever get smoked by an autombecile on the bike path on my way home. I, however, will try to add a cucumber and a knife to the equation.

Thought of the day:

People who buy a BMW or a Mercedes must be quite disappointed to discover that such an expensive automobile doesn't have working blinkers.

My favourite dumb criminals

Don't touch anything with your hands! Nothing!