Have you ever been to sea, Billy?

A few years ago, I went on cruise ship. I still have nightmares about it.

We managed to piss off a lot of people as we just showed up at the dock and said, "Can we come on your boat?" before being charged half the price that people who had been planning this trip for years paid.

It was, hands down, one of the most surreal experiences I've ever had. If you want to witness the decline of western civilization first-hand, go on a cruise. Truly terrifying stuff. The one saving grace on this particular excursion was the fact that we ended up on the same ship as an Orthodox Jewish travel group. Koshermerica. I kid you not. You haven't truly lived until you sit next to middle-aged women sunbathing in their Orthodox regalia. Or gambled with the men at the garish boat casino.

I'm just glad that the following never happened to us. Ot at least that there was no CCTV footage of it on the internet.