My favourite grammatical errors in medical records

• Patient suffers from headaches while menstruating on the top of her head.
• Patient is a newborn infant delivered over an intact perineum which cried spontaneously.
• History: Patient was shot in head with .32 caliber rifle. Chief complaint: Headache.
• Patient referred to hospital for erosion of the cervix by a local medical doctor.
• Dictated: "Patient had a Pap smear today." Transcribed: "Patient had a Pabst Beer today."
• Patient referred to hospital by private physician with green stools.
• This mother of a 2-year old desires a circumcision.
• Patient has been married twice, but denies any other serious illnesses.
• Patient is separated from his wife, and he is also allergic to Penicillin
• She moves her bowels roughly, three times a day.

(From the medical records of a hospital: by Corey D. Fox, Ph.D.)