The first of a thousand... somethings

I'm blogging. Holy shit. I'm blogging.
The wind is whistling in my ears. Objects in the distance grow in front of my eyes, only to be replaced by other objects that look like ants. But without the legs. Or the head. Or any other ant-like features.
I'm blogging. Is that the term the kids are using these days? It feels so... so... manly. I'm like King Kong. But without the King. Or the Kong. Or any other giant ape-like features.
To be fair, I have been blogging since I was a child. But back then we called it "Writing things on public bathroom walls". And boy, I was the king of the bwalllog. I could write Tracey McIver's phone number in the time it took to most people to do up their fly.
So I'm blogging.
"Why are you blogging?", you may ask yourself. Actually, you probably aren't asking yourself that. Because you're here. With me. You make me feel all warm and gooey inside. Just like Tracey McIver. Even if you aren't asking yourself why, I'm going to tell you.
Because I can.
And right now, that's reason enough.
If you come back, I'll tell you more. I swear. I'll show you things you never dared imagine. I'll teach you things I learned in a Buddhist monastery on the banks of the the River Jordan. I'll be here. With you. And a good time shall be had by all.
And if there are no good times, at least there will be things like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RRSunpMZ94
So welcome. Welcome to Blogasy Island.
Take my hand. Everything will be okay. You're safe now.

Ok. I'm kidding. I only started a blog so I could use the word blogging over and over again. So there.